Saturday, July 05, 2008

I have to let it out of my sytem!!!!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
OK. i guess you're wondering why i just typed the long word up there...it's just i feel like shouting! like EVERYDAY! i don't know. i just want to shout! i want to go somewhere far so that i can unwind myself. i feel lonely that's all. it's like i have this REALLY BORING LIFE. not that i'm doing anything to stop that boring things that are happening. it's also the way i want it anyway...so i don't really want to change ALL of it. it's just that i feel lonely because i think somethings missing. i have friends but then i just feel that it's or rather they are not enough. it's not that i don't like them anymore i just want to get to know a lot more people, problem is i'm holding back from doing it. and i don't know why i'm so scared!!! Damn it! i hate myself for being such a loser right now. i know right, actually i'm fine sometimes. but then sometimes i just get really lonely and i feel that everything going to vanish once i stop breathing or something. another thing is i hate myself for being envious to those couples that i see almost like everywhere and everyday of my life. i don't know how i started to have this feeling of emptiness but i just found out that i want a boyfriemd too. haha! funny because i don't really want one i think i just think that it will make me happy or something or maybe because i don't know... maybe i just want to experience that kind of feeling...but then again AS IF! i'm so boring. yah i know as in BORING! so right now i don't know what to do! i want to cry. actually i just feel miserable and emo with all the things that i'm THINKING! aaaaaaaaaaah!
what i don't get is why i always have a crush everyday.. grrr!! i don't even know THEM i just see them ehen i leave and go for school. grrrr! ok i'm so PATHETIC!!!
Share:

0 comments: